Change.

the reason why i talk less bout my personal life nowadays is simply because i'm sick of explaining.

there's no point repetitively explaining when people just don't understand.

As time passes, i get more impatient and its obviously one of my weak point.

I don't think i'm qualified giving advice's as i too have lack of experience.

While i'm providing my one cents advice, there's also a layer of mask on me.

why would i bother bout talking bout it when they obviously wouldn't be able to help?..

don't come complaining that i'm secretive and etc when you didn't even bother asking..

everyone can be selfish. it's a choice on whether or not they want to be selfish.

so yes, mind me if I am selfish at some point because i refuse to take in more shit than I already have.

If you can't accommodate to that than i'm sorry,  neither can I.

Life

Life is a mess, heart is a mess, yet it is all covered up.
Disappointments are increasing.

This have to be solved ASAP.
I want my happy and carefree life back.

?

Am I at an age where I must date?.. Why the heck is everybody questioning on my relationship status?
Especially when I repeatedly said that i'm single. Makes me wonder whether I really look lonely or too occupied. LOL

It's like when I'm honest nobody actually believes and when I'm not honest, people just accepts and shut up. hahahaha

I've been hanging out more often than before only bcause it's the only time I can release stress. hahaha. Visually I might look like I have a lot of male friends, but truthfully, there's less than a hand full that I consider as true friends. I may seem close with alot of them simply bcause I'm very used to hanging out with guys. Going out alone with them doesn't mean we're in a relationship or me liking him or he liking me.

I just feel SUPER DUPER COMFORTABLE hanging out with my male friends because I don't need to guess and think what's on their mind, they usually just tell me. Unlike 90% of my female friends.

I'm very happy and satisfied with my life right now if I exclude my working life. So stop questioning / hovering me on my relationship status. I'm gonna be SUPER DUPER honest to the next person that ask questions on my relationship status so I actually get the message out xD

What goes around, comes around.

that phone call has been keeping me distracted for the past few days.
I sincerely hope it's the last call i'll hear from her because it's the ONLY REASON why I kept myself saint enough to not screw her over the phone.

If I get another call from her i'm gonna screw her.
She's been tormenting us mentally for the past 10 years. As if causing a broken family wasn't enough.
Part of me is happy that payback has finally hit her. KARMA worked at it's best.
But part of me wondered WHY THE FUCK would she bother calling? I didn't need her to tell me how fucked up my dad is as a man. I DIDN'T NEED TO KNOW IT THROUGH HER.

And for her to think that she could call and not even SUGGEST to apologize for what she's done is horrible. I HAD TO TELL HER TO APOLOGIZE. like WTF?
You're never gonna be forgiven if that was what you were after. I hope you didn't expect us to show you ANY SYMPATHY, because you're not worth it.

Don't even bother telling me how much you love him. THAT ISN'T LOVE. if you need to crush other ppl's love to fulfill your so call LOVE.. than it's bullshit.

I could have become a very different person as to what I am now.. Not that i'm not proud or happy of how I turned up.. but I could have been better perhaps. So yes, I'll always blame you.

I do not appreciate this fucked up situation he put me in but i'll take it in and learn from it. So whoever that can't understand that should just shut up. Show your concern and SHUT THE FUCK UP. I do not need any advise unless you've been through something VERY SIMILAR / EXACTLY what I've been through.

.

I swear my friends make me feel miserable of being single everytime i meet them.
Why do you need to make such a big deal out of it? i'm happy being single. :D
It's not like i'm not dating because I can't move on or somethinggg.
I'M PERFECTLY FINE. I'm just not eagerly seeking for a relationship.
It will come when the time is right. STOP MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT. :D

.

If I get sandwich ONE MORE TIME.
I'M GONNA GIVE EVERYONE A PEACE OF MY MIND
AND DO WHATEVER I WANT AS I SEE FIT.

WTF did I do to deserve this? you adults either GROW UP or both sides gonna get a peace of my mind.
I'm trying very hard to make both sides happy and if none of you are gonna be understanding then fuck it.

Both sides aren't gonna be happy when I make my point. BE AN ADULT AND THINK LIKE AN ADULT. -_-

.

People keep asking me how it feels to be home.
Well. home isn't the same anymore. It's much quiet.
Home doesn't feel like home anymore. :'D