28.05.2015

Thank you to everyone that was concerned.
I usually try really hard to not show it but this time was an exception. I just couldn't.

To those who realized and were concerned asked whether I was okay.
Well, truthfully. I'm not. She was more than a dog to me, she was my family, my best friend, my one and only.

She will always be remembered, she's going to be in my heart for the rest of my life.
Some who doesn't understand would think that i'm making a big deal over a dog, but those who understood got it the minute i mentioned her name. I didn't need to explain, her name just needed to be mentioned.

This made me realize how much a person understands me.
For those who i've met here in the UK, despite us knowing each other for less than a year, they showed concern and for that, i'm grateful. I'm really sorry for avoiding you guys today but I needed a moment, a moment alone to grieve.

For those back in Malaysia, whether or not you were close with Kiki, or you've just seen her through pictures I posted, thanks for the concern.


To Kiki,

I'm glad to know that you left peacefully and I'm sorry for not being able to be there for you during your last moment. You left me with lots of good memories that I would cherish for the rest of my life.

I still can't believe that i'll come home not being able to see you greet me. Home wouldn't be the same without you.

I might have lose a beautiful soul today but heaven has gain an angel. If faith has it, we will meet again.

I love you baby. ♥ 

Thank you.

Thank you for being there for me for the past 10 years of my life
And sorry for not being there till the very last moment.

My soulmate, my twin, you're at a better place. RIP ♥ 

Uni Life??

most of my results were released today and honestly speaking... i'm damn disappointed with it ):

Surprisingly, my parents aren't too disappointed about it this time.

I was expecting a higher grade for my finance paper... I believed it would have raised my overall grade. 

Although I managed to maintain at the Second Upper class grade that I targeted but still, its disappointing. I guess my first instinct is always right! Didn't have a good feeling after completing that paper anyways. My mind literally went blank during the paper ):

As long as I don't fail my last paper, I'M OFFICIALLY DONE WITH UNIVERSITY LIFE.

I FKING HATE 100% WRITTEN REPORTS. they freaking down graded my overall percentage ):

Since my parents are OKAY with my results, i'll just accept it and move on. 

It's been days and still no good news on Kiki. ):

Things have been pretty bad lately. I NEED SOME POSITIVE NEWS IN MY LIFE.

Conversation leads to realization

Was randomly having a conversation with a friend and realized he observed a very unique point of me.

It's amazing how he knew that I tend to not share my problems with friends and even better, he even knew my friends don't ask me unless i open up to them.
Tbh, no one has ever tell that to me in my face without me asking them, so I find it amazing.
am I that obvious? My friends usually keep questioning me till I just get them to stop asking. LOL

We've only met like idk, 3-4 times and he found my weak point. =/
I still find it hard to trust someone and spill my problems to a person.. especially.. to guys..

But it's good to know that he tried and convince me to trust him and talk to him when I needed to talk to someone. :)
I appreciate the effort and will definitely take that into an account! :)

The thing about being a good listener.. we usually don't get listen to. which is sad, i'm still searching for someone that will listen to my problems. well. not like there isn't any that had offered.. It's just me being me with a dumb personality. xD

Also, i'm so used to having boys treat me as their BRO that it doesn't even feel weird anymore.
I was told to be more feminine. LOL.
Besides not applying make-up, i think i'm feminine?......
He was shocked to know that I actually wear skirts and dress, like WTF? how is that shocking? Do I look like a person that hates wearing skirt / dresses? speeeeechless.

To my soul mate, I hope that you stay healthy and cheerful again.
I will be back soon, if you're starving urself because u miss me, STOP IT AND FREAKING PIG IN YOUR FOOD. T_T
You're freaking causing me mood swings, and I HATE MOOD SWINGS. -.-